Afresh

When I was younger, I didn't really get the fuss about New Year. New digits simply meant having to cross out the date for the first few weeks in January and rewrite it. Sometimes twice. I'm learning its significance more as an adult, so for the first time I've adopted some New Year's Resolutions. I hate the word "resolution" though, because to me it seems businesslike and permanent; something that you'll beat yourself up about if you break it. 

And as I made my "New Year Aims" (the milder sounding term, I think) I remembered why I didn't like the activity in the first place. Because so often when we think of changes, we critique ourselves first. As I thought about what I could do, I thought of all the ways I'd failed in 2012. How I'd eaten cake almost every day in September, October and November (December was cake, mulled wine and mince pies daily, so I tried not to think about that too much), how I'd been impatient with situations and individuals, how I'd been obsessive about things that didn't matter.

The point of New Year's resolutions is that you aim to change your bad habits and strive to be healthier, friendlier, and an altogether better person. By the end of my short self assessment, however, I'd convinced myself I was the worst human being in existence; my list of things was essentially a self-critique. Not a beneficial move, and one which made me wonder if everyone, annually, goes through the same torture at the end of December, focusing on the negative and resolving to make 2013 better than the last year. 

I think there's so much more to aims than negativity. Stopping to think of my achievements and successes in 2012 really helped. As did recognising that I didn't have to beat myself up when I would inevitably forget to be nice, or eat that piece of cake when I really didn't have to. 

New is an opportunity. Something I've mentioned a few times on this blog since I left uni. So why don't we challenge ourselves to do more than regular exercise? 

For me, it's a challenge to live in a way that reflects my faith. I'm trying to make prayer for others a top priority in my daily schedule and also to make patience more commonplace in my life. Just like any New Year's aim, I know that I'll fail at some point. But I also know that I don't have to hate myself for failing. And the bonus of faith-based aims is that I'm allowed to ask for God's help while I strive towards them. 

"Afresh; in a new or different way."