Grey

"...of a colour intermediate between black and white. as of ashes or an overcast sky." 

Perhaps not the most immediately obvious of titles; I’m blogging on a super sunny Saturday with an iced mocha from a new favourite coffee shop. It would seem that grey is not the word to describe the weather, my mood or how life is going. 

The thing about grey is that it evokes negative connotations. Those grey skies warn us (regularly) that it’s going to pour with rain. Where yellow equals happy, red equals anger, green equals envy...  grey equals boring. Its shiny cousin, silver, equals a glamorous and glitzy version of grey which is much more attractive. 

Colour psychology aside, and I’m talking about the intermediate nature of grey. We use the polar opposites of black and white to demonstrate extremes; to announce that we are clear where we stand; to proclaim that we are on one side of the fence. If grey is in the middle - and grey equals boring - does that mean that sitting on the fence is dull and characterless?

I very often struggle with the grey areas of life and faith and that’s primarily because I am a fence sitter. I wrote a blog, Identity Crisis, which referenced a bit how we naturally try to please people as Christians, but I’d take that further. In reality, I dislike upsetting anyone. I’m very happy to remain in the grey ambiguous area if it means being liked and not causing controversy. Yet it doesn’t make everyone happy because often there’s pressure to have an opinion; to be clear about what you think; and to argue for what you believe in. 

Recently I’ve had lots of conversations with friends about what’s right and wrong, black and white, good and bad. It’s fair to say in a lot of these cases I’m undecided. Not just because I’m a natural people pleaser but because I really do not know. 

As a twenty-something year old I’m wrestling afresh with the big issues facing the Church - Is it okay to be a Christian and get drunk? To be a female vicar? To practice homosexuality? And I’m always thinking about the justice issues too - Can I be rich? Wear diamonds? Eat Meat? There’s not always a definitive answer. There are arguments both sides. 

I think the grey area is okay to be in - as long as you’ve thought about the black and the white. There’s also something powerful in respecting the perspectives of others. Fighting for black when they’re fighting for white might not achieve anything but an awkward relationship. Some of my favourite conversations recently haven’t changed my opinion but they’ve shown me another's perspective. And life isn’t always about changing people’s minds but meeting in the middle to let black and white make grey.