I think I've always been an old lady at heart.
It started in my teens when I fought with my parents to go to Church. Forget sex, drugs, rock and roll - I was all about the cheesy worship music and free cake.
For a couple of months at university I managed to excel at nights out - mostly by drinking caffeine before, not drinking alcohol during, and getting to bed by midnight after. By second term I found it all a bit dull so decided to write my essays and find out all the gossip the next morning instead.
Nowadays I enjoy baking, thrive in my own company and love going for walks in the countryside. I am the epitome of a lonely hearts advertisement.
And an old lady. I bake cakes on a regular basis, I hate swearing and I try to read my Bible before I go to bed. I give people cups of tea when they're stressed and worry when housemates aren't home on time.
That's right, I am incredibly lame. According, anyway, to the following flattering definition:
"(of a person) ...naive or socially inept."
Yes, I'm not very good at being a twenty-something. I'm certainly old before my time.
How to prevent this?
Well, if you're in your late teens or early twenties, conforming is everything. Be in a wide circle of friends, have a crazy social life, with lots of relationship drama (not to mention happy endings) and a distinct sense of what you're good at, what you care about, and what defines you. It might all go wrong otherwise...
...maybe not (although I guess that's open to interpretation).
I'm learning that we all reach a point where identity is our biggest fear. I certainly spent a proportion of my first year at university worrying about how ridiculously uncool I looked. Interestingly, I spent a proportion of my first year in an office doing the same thing.
The point I'm tenuously trying to make is that being cool enough, good enough, popular enough, beautiful enough, manly enough, insert-word-here-enough, is a construct we place on ourselves. And we always place the bar too high. The world's image of humanity doesn't help. Newspapers and television programmes distort our perceptions even more.
Dr Seuss manages to encapsulate everything I'm trying to say more succinctly:
"Today you are You
That is truer than true
There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
In my quest for possibilities, I'm reminding myself to keep being lame and uncool. To (loosely) hold onto that stubborn independence that will stop me from doing anything unwise. To be truly me. To try new things, of course, but to retain a sense of identity in the process.
Because some of my favourite people are the ones who manage to keep being themselves irrespective of where they are and what life throws at them. Unfortunately, I've lost my accent here in London so can't quite boast that talent.
But I'll keep trying.
It started in my teens when I fought with my parents to go to Church. Forget sex, drugs, rock and roll - I was all about the cheesy worship music and free cake.
For a couple of months at university I managed to excel at nights out - mostly by drinking caffeine before, not drinking alcohol during, and getting to bed by midnight after. By second term I found it all a bit dull so decided to write my essays and find out all the gossip the next morning instead.
Nowadays I enjoy baking, thrive in my own company and love going for walks in the countryside. I am the epitome of a lonely hearts advertisement.
And an old lady. I bake cakes on a regular basis, I hate swearing and I try to read my Bible before I go to bed. I give people cups of tea when they're stressed and worry when housemates aren't home on time.
That's right, I am incredibly lame. According, anyway, to the following flattering definition:
"(of a person) ...naive or socially inept."
Yes, I'm not very good at being a twenty-something. I'm certainly old before my time.
How to prevent this?
Well, if you're in your late teens or early twenties, conforming is everything. Be in a wide circle of friends, have a crazy social life, with lots of relationship drama (not to mention happy endings) and a distinct sense of what you're good at, what you care about, and what defines you. It might all go wrong otherwise...
...maybe not (although I guess that's open to interpretation).
I'm learning that we all reach a point where identity is our biggest fear. I certainly spent a proportion of my first year at university worrying about how ridiculously uncool I looked. Interestingly, I spent a proportion of my first year in an office doing the same thing.
The point I'm tenuously trying to make is that being cool enough, good enough, popular enough, beautiful enough, manly enough, insert-word-here-enough, is a construct we place on ourselves. And we always place the bar too high. The world's image of humanity doesn't help. Newspapers and television programmes distort our perceptions even more.
Dr Seuss manages to encapsulate everything I'm trying to say more succinctly:
"Today you are You
That is truer than true
There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
In my quest for possibilities, I'm reminding myself to keep being lame and uncool. To (loosely) hold onto that stubborn independence that will stop me from doing anything unwise. To be truly me. To try new things, of course, but to retain a sense of identity in the process.
Because some of my favourite people are the ones who manage to keep being themselves irrespective of where they are and what life throws at them. Unfortunately, I've lost my accent here in London so can't quite boast that talent.
But I'll keep trying.
Fortunately the you that is you is rejoiced over with singing. Hazaar
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