Agape

This week on Facebook, three engagements and a marriage became official through relationship statuses. It appears that summer is the season of romance and love is in the air.

Although my parents will be disappointed that I'm not at that stage of life just yet, I've been learning a lot this summer about agape. GCSE religious studies introduced this Greek word to me, along with three other different types of love. Having forgotten all such previous learning I looked to a writer I'm particularly fond of called C. S. Lewis, and a book entitled "The Four Loves". Ashamedly, I haven't read it from cover to cover, but it does provide explanation of these types of love. Apologies to those who study/studied Greek, as the lettering is difficult; I've just written the translations here.

Storge: Affection
Also referred to as natural love; often between family members or those considered to be as family.

Philia: Friendship
Love between those who share a common interest or activity.

Eros: Romance
Passionate love, in the sense of  "being in love."

Agape: 
C.S Lewis defines this as "unconditional love."

Additionally Britannia has this definition:

"In the New Testament, the fatherly love of God for humans, as well as the human reciprocal love for God. The term necessarily extends to the love of one’s fellow man."

Now anyone who knows me even a little will understand that I dislike public displays of affection, am unwilling to give excess hugs and really, really value my own space. I consider myself to be 'unsappy' and as a result, I can often appear heartless. My displays of love have definitely been limited, by the world's standards.

Yet God is love according to the Bible, and an understanding of agape means that we need to love in the way that God loves us. 

Galatians 5:22-23 is one of my favourite Bible passages: 

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (ESV) 

To summarise a few sermons and books on this passage: Christians believe that God works in them to increase these qualities in their lives. 

Because we can't try and be all of these things all at once on our own. No, because I know that I'm ridiculously impatient and not gentle. Does that mean God's not working in me? Well maybe, but I think that it's a progressive sort of thing. 

Over the past few years I've felt that I've possessed some of these qualities a little bit more than before. Maybe not, but perhaps it's a gradual change rather than radical transformation. I doubt I'll ever achieve all of these qualities all at once, because I'm human and imperfect. But I keep trusting that God's working in me. 

So let's get back to love. Because over the past month or so, I've been able to see how much God loves me. Not in a sappy way, but in an agape way. An unconditional way. Irrespective of what I do, God still loves me. Still loves all of us. And as I've learnt this, I've realised that our society recognises love in certain actions. Yes, to love is to do the washing up without asking, and to do actions which are really meaningful, but it is also hugs and affection and compliments. I've been challenged because to love other people means sacrificing my own thoughts and preconceptions. And in the process, I think that God's changing how I love people too. 

Don't worry, close friends, I'm not an emotional over the top lots of love and kisses forever person now, but I'm recognising that I want to communicate with friends in different places, to say bye and be sad that I'm not going to see them for a bit, because I think that God would be like that. Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died; he wasn't detached and supernatural. He was human. 

And if that wasn't hard enough, Christianity teaches that we should love our enemies.

Agape: "The term necessarily extends to the love of one's fellow man."

Challenge accepted.



This post is part of a mini-series on The Four Loves. Read the others by clicking on the label below...