Relationships

Nothing says "I love you" better than a heart shaped wreath... 

Valentine's Day amuses me as it's one of those times (a bit like the other Saints days, really) based on tradition which means we either have to be really romantic or obviously ambivalent about love.

It seems I'm sitting on the fence this year which is nothing new, really, as I'm a natural fence sitter who hates rocking the boat. Yet I decided to do a bit of dictionary defining of the word that we're all talking about (or obviously not talking about)

Relationship: "the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected."

Isn't that great? I really enjoy thinking about the idea of human connection. I really adore that we're relational beings - striving in some sense for relationship with others to share life with.

This week I've been challenging myself to use my relational-ness to be more generous with my money. And it's been really refreshing to pay for a friend's coffee and see them smile a little. To make cupcakes for my incredibly busy housemates and to enjoy the simple pleasure of giving them a chocolate moulded spoon.

I'm realising that relational humanity is a lot about generosity. 

We're always encouraged by stories in the news where someone does something out of the ordinary - and usually that's something generous or relational. Where a manager of a company writes to a small child, or where a woman makes an effort to get to know the person who killed her husband. Human connection at the heart of stories. Human relationships.

I know I've written before about one of my favourite blogs, Humans of New York. It appeals to me because it's a snapshot into the thoughts of others. It's a beautiful representation of how we're relational. The questions are almost always guided towards the individual's perception of someone they love, or loved, or spend time with. And it's little things that we can all relate to. Not big, romantic or elaborate stories. They don't necessarily have a happy ending. But real life doesn't always.

I think my favourite thing about relationships are their unique nature. We have that thing we find funny with one person that everyone else thinks is weird. Or those conversations with family members that you wouldn't have with any other group of people, ever. Those are the moments that we adore - something more exciting than receiving a card or box of chocolates.

So I'll continue to be ambivalent about Valentine's Day. But human connection is worth getting excited about. Those moments shared with others. Like the moment on the train this morning where the girl opposite empathised with the fact that there was a very tall man squashing my personal space. Or every time I go to into our work kitchen and get to chat with the lady who cleans the sink and even when I manage to choose the least appropriate moment for my washing up, she patiently lets me get on with it. Like the homeless guy near my Church who I'm still pretty scared to chat to for a long time because I'm not very good at that yet, but he still appreciates it when I get him a cheeseburger and tells me a bit about who else has chatted to him that day.

These are the little reasons I love that we're relational. Of course there are bigger reasons too; I could write a whole other post about how we can change the world by thinking relationally...

But for now, I'm content appreciating those relationships that happen everyday. And I'm praising God for making us this way.