Grown-Up

Grown Up birthday flowers. 

Grown-Up // ... suitable for, or characteristic of, an adult.

A few weeks ago I celebrated turning twenty-seven by working in my office. Now, to most people this is pretty normal but to a summer baby used to school and university holidays (and some lucky weekend birthdays after that) it was a brand new thing. And at various points on that day, replying to emails while eating cake with vanilla custard, I wondered if this step meant I'd finally become a grown-up.

"Grown-up" is a strange adjective that conjures up images of responsible people in suits or purchasing houses or having children. None of which I'm anywhere close to achieving. And it appears that many of my friends feel the same; not quite feeling adult enough; responsible enough; worthy enough of what it means to be an adult.

Recently I read an article about what it's like to leave London for somewhere else, and in it are some absolute gems about the appeal of the big city, creating a big dose of nostalgia for me. I approach my two year Surrey anniversary, I'm definitely still a little bit heartsick for the city that has it all. Yet, I realise that, in fact, I am "growing up" in this new place. In fact, these words from the article could have been written by me:

"Moving to London made me want to repeatedly reinvent myself. Moving away from it has made me realise that I like who I have become, and that’s enough..."

We're all on this growing-up journey, and I think it's a pretty common realisation that it doesn't happen as soon as we might imagine. But actually, I don't believe 'grown-up' is a helpful definition for us at all. It implies that at some point we will be sorted, or that we will one day become the best version of ourselves. Yes, we might be physically fully grown, but there's always more to learn; more to find out; more that we discover about ourselves and the world around us.

More and more, however, I think that one of the most significant growing up things to do is to be happy with who we are rather than who we might wish to be. The past few years - coincidentally, the outside of London years - have been a real season of understanding my character better. Of course, it's not simply moving out of a big city that's caused this; also being outside of my comfort zone; making friends again; changing job, again. These kinds of moments are the ones that shape us and mould us and help us to grow.

I'm certain that I'll look back at these words in years to come and smile at how much I didn't know. We're all on a growing-up journey that continues throughout our lives; and we should be willing to stay on this journey forever.

One day, I might finally get a job which requires wearing a suit to work. But irrespective of how things unravel, I'm excited for the lessons I'll learn along the way, the eureka moments where it all makes sense, and for the little moments, where I realise that being an adult is really rather simple after all.