Gentleness

Photo by Marcus Spiske on Unsplash

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, GENTLENESS..."

Gentleness is the fruit that I've wrestled with the most on this list from Galatians 5.  It's not something that comes easily to me. It's not something I've really ever prayed for. It's not even a quality - if I'm honest- I've ever really wanted.

A little bit of back story. I come from a family with a lot of strong women, and we are all pretty fierce. Meet my grandmothers; meet my mother; meet my little sister. You will instantly know that we are related because the room will be full of interrupted conversations, stubborn spirits and absolute independence.

And it is one of my favourite things. And it is these roots that have formed me and moulded me into a human who is fiercely passionate about justice, others' rights, and to have equal standing in a world that has been, for so long, dominated by men. And I am proud to be someone who challenges the status quo and is striving to make the world a fairer, more sustainable, and more balanced place.

But the word 'gentleness' evokes very different ideas in my head to these values I hold tightly; it makes me feel like I have to be quiet, to be weak, to be submissive. This fruit has been a challenge because it felt to me like it inherently clashed with some of my strongest defining features.

I felt like to be gentle would mean to sacrifice, or to give up something of the nature of who I am.

Except these fruit of the Spirit are given to us all because we all need them. They are qualities given by the Holy Spirit as an impartation of who God is - and how we can be more like God. So I turned to the Bible to understand more of God's gentleness and came across this:

"You have given me the shield of your salvation,
and your right hand supported me,
and your gentleness made me great."  - Psalm 18:35

Incredibly, this verse demonstrates God's gentleness having a positive impact on us, rather than the other way around. We are not gentle to make God great - God is gentle and makes us great.

Notice too, that God also gives us an incredible amount of protection: a shield of salvation - strength because we are saved by Him. And a right hand that is always by our side. This verse is not of forcefulness or power but shows the incredible love, protection and honour that God bestows on us. In gentleness.

And ultimately, this gentleness is at the centre of the Christian faith. Jesus wasn't forceful or demanding when he was sent to be crucified - but acknowledged that God's will needed to happen. And at his resurrection, Jesus didn't announce his arrival back into the world with a fanfare or proclamation but by addressing the first person who saw him with her name:

"Jesus said to her, “Mary.” - John 20

God's character and behaviour is vast. Creator of the earth; all-powerful; yet personal and gentle.  And it's this seeming juxtaposition that reminds me that I can be both passionate and gentle too. And outworking this gentleness doesn't come when I try - but when I understand the character of the God I believe in, and study the example that Jesus modelled so well.

Over the past week I've been intentionally asking God to help me to be gentle. And I'm learning that it begins, like most things do, with learning to love - and to be loved. My gentleness stems from a place of God's love for me. And along the way I'm realising my personality, value or worth do not come from my striving or my actions, but from my rootedness in the one who created me.

These fruit of the Spirit are best found when we spend time understanding ourselves in the context of who God created us to be. In that place of security and identity, we are better able to receive - and share -  the gifts that God gives.

The fruit of gentleness is a gift for everyone.

This is the ninth blog in a series on the Fruit of the Spirit. Follow the series by the label "The Gifts".