Storge

I'm finding my feet in a small new place; no small feat when you're used to shining lights and big city buzz. But aside from my all-too regular pining for London, living in a new place also means establishing community all over again; getting to know the people who happen to be there too.

Storge is the greek word that translates as 'affection'. It's also known as the 'empathy bond' and is the most natural of the four different Greek words for love. C. S. Lewis says of it:

"I doubt if we ever catch affection beginning. To become aware of it is to become aware that it has already been going on for some time." 

For me, the empathy bond; the storge love, is best exhibited hanging out with favourite people over a cup of coffee. Recently I've realised that I spend an inordinate amount of time (and consequently, money) doing this. Usually, the conversation is seemingly regular, not often incredibly significant, simply sharing stories together. It's only later on that I realise how worthwhile this non-spectacular event was; when reflecting, when the warmth and joy of the moment continue to bring joy.

Storge love is most naturally exhibited within family relationships; but also within those relationships that are as natural as meeting with family members. The people we share and engage with on a regular basis.

And as I stumble around in this small new place, I'm eagerly awaiting, anticipating and slowly seeing storge love in action; the empathy bond. This new community of mine is strikingly generous and loving; patiently enduring of my impatience for its location and size; generously hospitable and willing to open up their arms to me.

One of my favourite things about storge is that it gradually unfolds with every sort of person you regularly encounter. It's the launchpad for the other loves; but affection happens first:

"The truly wide taste in humanity will similarly find something to appreciate in the cross-section of humanity whom one has to meet every day. In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy and finally to appreciate the people who 'happen to be there'." - excerpt from The Four Loves.

The people who 'happen to be here' in my new community have already offered so much - and I'm grateful for their storge love as I continue to adapt to this environment.

Storge, the empathy-bond, is such a vital part of what makes us human. It drives our friendships, relationships and human interactions. But it's a love felt in old and new relationships. I can have affection for my oldest friend and newest acquaintance. As old and new worlds collide - as relationships continue and grow -  I'm grateful for it.

Storge: affection; empathy bond


This post is part of a mini-series on The Four Loves. Read the others by clicking on the label below...